Mother’s Day and grief
Mother’s Day can be a difficult time for many. There are those who are grieving for their mothers and mothers who are grieving for their children.
There are people who have lost mother figures, who provided the love, care and support of a mother that they never had. There are those who have had difficult relationships with their mother or child and are no longer close; another form of grief in itself.
I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
- Abraham Lincoln
How to cope on Mother’s Day
Coping on Mother’s Day when you have experienced a loss may seem unfathomable, but we hope that these suggestions on how to manage the day, may offer some comfort.
Be kind to yourself
Spend the day doing whatever it is you want to do. If you can bear to get outside, go for a walk; watch your favourite film; or just spend the day in bed guilt-free. It’s up to you.
Get off social media
Just for one day, ignore your phone. Social media isn’t real, and it doesn’t show the difficult, messy reality of life, only the shiny curated moments people want us to see. Not everyone’s Mother’s Day is what it seems on social media, but it may make you feel that it is. So turn off your mobile and tune out.
Opt out
If you think that receiving Mother’s Day reminders via email will be a trigger for you, some companies allow you to opt out of them. Just take a look at their contact preference options.
Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.
- C.S. Lewis
Talk about them
You are still a mother or someone’s child, that doesn’t change when you lose someone. If you want to talk about them, then do. Don’t feel you have to keep quiet to make others comfortable.
Don’t feel ashamed of your emotions
You have every right to feel whatever emotions Mother’s Day causes you to experience. Friends and family should be understanding of that, it’s not your burden to ensure they are happy.
Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality.
- Emily Dickinson
Take care of yourself
Do what you need to do; whether that’s simple self-care, sleeping through the day, or even taking a day trip to get away from it, your feelings and choices are valid.
If you feel you need further support, take a look at our grief and bereavement resources.
