Kicking the Bucket – A festival of living and dying

Liz Rothschild set up the Kicking the Bucket Festival in 2012. Working as a celebrant and burial ground manager, she realised that it was essential to talk with people before a bereavement in order for people to feel able to ask for what they really need. Here, Liz tells us about why she started the festival, what it involves, and how it helps to destigmatise the taboo subject of death and dying.

Liz’s story

I have worked as a celebrant for over thirty years and for the last twenty years have run a green burial ground on the Oxfordshire/Wiltshire border.

I never intended to work in this field, but life took me in that direction when a very close friend died suddenly. We knew that we had to create a funeral that reflected who she really was and the life she had lived.

That taught me a lot and made me realise how much is possible if you only ask and sometimes insist on getting what you want.

For many of us this is much easier if we plan ahead and have important conversations with those close to us, but for a lot of us, this feels very hard to do.  I found out that once a death has occurred it is often too late. We then feel as if we have stepped on to an inevitable path that leads us relentlessly towards the funeral.  It becomes difficult to pause, reflect, or consult, especially at a time when we may be very shocked and distressed and relationships may be under strain.

The fourth Kicking the Bucket Festival kicks off

I started the Kicking the Bucket festival in 2012 in Oxford. Coming from a theatre background, I wanted the festival events to be creative, surprising, uplifting and informative. This year we have already enjoyed wild swimming, films, poetry and workshops on grief.

And on the weekend of the 3rd and 4th November, 2023, we enjoyed walks, talks, craft and art workshops, dancing, singing and speed dating with death, This was a chance to find out more about seven very different topics from experts from many different fields – finance, end of life, working with people with learning difficulties, the LGBTQI community, tissue and organ donation and end of life experiences.

What happens at the festivals?

You can enjoy delicious food in our pop up café, watch a willow coffin being made, browse our resources and maybe write a letter for our travelling post box. The post box has been at all our venues and is an invitation to write to someone who has died.  Maybe there is something you really need to say that was not possible when they were alive; or maybe you just want to tell them your news, or that you love them. Perhaps you just want to draw a picture.

Drawing on ancient and modern wisdom, this process reminds us that we do not need to sever all ties with those who have died. We can foster continuing bonds in modern bereavement parlance, or follow many traditional cultural understandings and continue to remember our ancestors.  The letters will later be burned with rosemary for remembrance; ensuring the process is respectful after the festival is over.

Remembering those who died in the pandemic

On the 4th November at our final event, we unveiled a Covid Memorial Tree, opened by the Mayor of Oxford, Lubna Arshad. Now in Bury Knowle Park in Oxford, people will have a place to come and remember their loved ones who died during the pandemic. A bench was erected with a special plaque, and every Spring the bulbs we planted will burst into flower underneath the cherry blossom of the remembrance tree.

We also work closely with our local bereavement café which offers festival goers the chance to share their stories in a safe, confidential environment.

Why should you get involved with Kicking the Bucket?

Participants from previous years have consistently reported that they felt huge relief in being with other people who wanted to talk about death, and they felt more prepared, less afraid and were surprised how much they had laughed. We also have an online days so you can be part of the action from wherever you live.

To find out all about us, please visit www.kickingthebucketfestival.co.uk or check out our Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, which we update daily with information about the festival.

Liz has also published two books with PCCS – Outside the Box – Everyday Stories of Death, Bereavement and Life and Weathering the Storm – Stories of love, life, loss and discovery in the time of Covid.  She also regularly tours her one woman show called Outside the Box – a live show about death which you can learn more about at www.fullcircleproductions.org.uk.