The power of poetry
“Poetry is like a bird, it ignores all frontiers.”
Yevgeny Yevtushenko
As part of Dying Matters Awareness Week, 2023 we used the power of Poetry to ignite honest and positive conversations about death and dying.
Every year communities across the country come together to reflect, to talk and perhaps inspire one another in whatever shape or form works for them.
Art and creativity have long been a rich source of expression and solace, so here at Part of Life, we wanted to provide our community with a collection of beautiful, soulful and deeply impactful poems.
Inspired by Michael Rosen’s articulation of how poetry helped him grieve after the death of his son, our poetry library is here for you to dip in and out of when and where you choose to.
If you have a favourite poem that has helped you express your feelings on death and grief, then why not share it in the comments below?
Part of Life's Poetry Library
Part of Life's Poetry Library
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don’t tell me that I mourn too much
and I won’t tell you that you mourn too much
don’t tell me that I mourn too little
and I won’t tell you that you mourn too little
don’t tell me that I mourn in the wrong place
and I won’t tell you that you mourn in the wrong place
don’t tell me that I mourn at the wrong time
and I won’t tell you that you mourn at the wrong time
don’t tell me that I mourn in the wrong way
and I won’t tell you that you mourn in the wrong way
I may get it wrong, I will get it wrong, I have got it wrong
but don’t tell me.
-
Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
From The Prophet (Knopf, 1923).
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The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.Is it that they are born again
And we grow old? No, they die too.
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.Yet still the unresting castles thresh
In fullgrown thickness every May.
Last year is dead, they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.
2 June 1967. -
When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not on your mind.
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting
Bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.
I’ll see you at home
In the earth.
This poem is included in the Mishkan T'filah, a prayer book used by Reform Jewish congregations.
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the way it ricocheted—a boomerang flung
from your throat, stilling the breathless air.
How you were luminous in it. Your smile. Your hair
tossed back, flaming. Everyone around you aglow.
How I wanted to live in it those times it ignited us
into giggles, doubling us over aching and unmoored
for precious minutes from our twin scars—
the thorned secrets our tongues learned too well
to carry. It is impossible to imagine you gone,
dear one, your laugh lost to some silence I can’t breach,
from which you will not return.
for Fay Botham (May 31, 1968–January 10, 2021)
Copyright © 2022 by Lauren K. Alleyne. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on July 6, 2022, by the Academy of American Poets.
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Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
by Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul’s Cathedral
From ‘The King of Terrors’, a sermon on death delivered in St Paul’s Cathedral on Whitsunday 1910, while the body of King Edward VII was lying in state at Westminster: published in Facts of the Faith, 1919.
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You simply go out and shut the door
without thinking. And when you look back
at what you’ve done
it’s too late. If this sounds
like the story of life, okay.
It was raining. The neighbors who had
a key were away. I tried and tried
the lower windows. Stared
inside at the sofa, plants, the table
and chairs, the stereo set-up.
My coffee cup and ashtray waited for me
on the glass-topped table, and my heart
went out to them. I said, Hello, friends,
or something like that. After all,
this wasn’t so bad.
Worst things had happened. This
was even a little funny. I found the ladder.
Took that and leaned it against the house.
Then climbed in the rain to the deck,
swung myself over the railing
and tried the door. Which was locked,
of course. But I looked in just the same
at my desk, some papers, and my chair.
This was the window on the other side
of the desk where I’d raise my eyes
and stare out when I sat at that desk.
This is not like downstairs, I thought.
This is something else.
And it was something to look in like that, unseen,
from the deck. To be there, inside, and not be there.
I don’t even think I can talk about it.
I brought my face close to the glass
and imagined myself inside,
sitting at the desk. Looking up
from my work now and again.
Thinking about some other place
and some other time.
The people I had loved then.
I stood there for a minute in the rain.
Considering myself to be the luckiest of men.
Even though a wave of grief passed through me.
Even though I felt violently ashamed
of the injury I’d done back then.
I bashed that beautiful window.
And stepped back in.
From Where Water Comes Together With Other Water (Vintage Books)
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I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes –
I wonder if It weighs like Mine –
Or has an Easier size.
I wonder if They bore it long –
Or did it just begin –
I could not tell the Date of Mine –
It feels so old a pain –
I wonder if it hurts to live –
And if They have to try –
And whether – could They choose between –
It would not be – to die –
I note that Some – gone patient long –
At length, renew their smile –
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil –
I wonder if when Years have piled –
Some Thousands – on the Harm –
That hurt them early – such a lapse
Could give them any Balm –
Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve –
Enlightened to a larger Pain –
In Contrast with the Love –
The Grieved – are many – I am told –
There is the various Cause –
Death – is but one – and comes but once –
And only nails the eyes –
There's Grief of Want – and grief of Cold –
A sort they call "Despair" –
There's Banishment from native Eyes –
In sight of Native Air –
And though I may not guess the kind –
Correctly – yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary –
To note the fashions – of the Cross –
And how they're mostly worn –
Still fascinated to presume
That Some – are like my own –
The Poems of Emily Dickinson, Ralph W. Franklin ed., Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, Copyright © 1998 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Copyright © 1951, 1955, 1979, by the President and Fellows of Harvard College.
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I’ve avoided opening my throat in fear the dead would rise, walk out of me, leave me emptier after their fleeting, and still get deported back into the abyss they climbed from. I don’t think they hunger me. They want to abandon and find a soft rock to lay their head on, a voice, an empty water jug, a song, the striking pain of a windless and deserted desert or a revolver or drugs or gang affiliations. Instead I hoax them to sit perched, their black wings all slick and crow-like while I drag the weight of Mexican unsung mourning in choir. Now I have someone to blame. My brother isn’t coming back from the dead and I won’t fix my scale. The tone will always be off, a crooked meteor slicing what’s left of the sky. Songs will remain unsung, the diaphragm, a cheap staircase, not even lullabies can squeeze out, my voice box sealed, a better state line than the Mexican-American border. This time mami won’t become one million doves in the driver seat while she sings to Jenni Rivera as we drive through the sandstorm. Instead she hardens, tells me of the desert roses tumbling across the desert, how just like us they have razor sharp petals as armor on their body from tumbling aimlessly for years. Memory still doesn’t strike a guitar string, the tíos are turning in their grave, while abuelita twists her mouth so we don’t see her teethless. We all have this disease, a black dove chewing on its feathers inside of a country inside us, trapped in the cave of us, we rage or corridos Chihuahuenses or a dying ensemble, but even if the song kills me I won’t set it free. It’s obvious I must avoid the eulogy that comes after talking about my brother’s death because it’ll haunt me, his death, it will follow me and take me too, and I want to sleep tonight.
Copyright © 2022 by féi hernandez. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on October 18, 2022, by the Academy of American Poets.
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After Gwendolyn Brooks
My wild grief didn’t know where to end.
Everywhere I looked: a field alive and unburied.
Whole swaths of green swallowed the light.
All around me, the field was growing. I grew out
My hair in every direction. Let the sun freckle my face.
Even in the greenest depths, I crouched
Towards the light. That summer, everything grew
So alive and so alone. A world hushed in green.
Wildest grief grew inside out.
I crawled to the field’s edge, bruises blooming
In every crevice of my palms.
I didn’t know I’d reached a shoreline till I felt it
There: A salt wind lifted
The hair from my neck.
At the edge of every green lies an ocean.
When I saw that blue, I knew then:
This world will end.
Grief is not the only geography I know.
Every wound closes. Repair comes with sweetness,
Come spring. Every empire will fall:
I must believe this. I felt it
Somewhere in the field: my ancestors
Murmuring Go home, go home—soon, soon.
No country wants me back anymore and I’m okay.
If grief is love with nowhere to go, then
Oh, I’ve loved so immensely.
That summer, everything I touched
Was green. All bruises will fade
From green and blue to skin.
Let me grow through this green
And not drown in it.
Let me be lawless and beloved,
Ungovernable and unafraid.
Let me be brave enough to live here.
Let me be precise in my actions.
Let me feel hurt.
I know I can heal.
Let me try again—again and again.
Copyright © 2022 by Laurel Chen. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on October 21, 2022, by the Academy of American Poets.
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Work out. Ten laps.
Chin ups. Look good.
Steam room. Dress warm.
Call home. Fresh air.
Eat right. Rest well.
Sweetheart. Safe sex.
Sore throat. Long flu.
Hard nodes. Beware.
Test blood. Count cells.
Reds thin. Whites low.
Dress warm. Eat well.
Short breath. Fatigue.
Night sweats. Dry cough.
Loose stools. Weight loss.
Get mad. Fight back.
Call home. Rest well.
Don’t cry. Take charge.
No sex. Eat right.
Call home. Talk slow.
Chin up. No air.
Arms wide. Nodes hard.
Cough dry. Hold on.
Mouth wide. Drink this.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
No air. Breathe in.
Breathe in. No air.
Black out. White rooms.
Head hot. Feet cold.
No work. Eat right.
CAT scan. Chin up.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
No air. No air.
Thin blood. Sore lungs.
Mouth dry. Mind gone.
Six months? Three weeks?
Can’t eat. No air.
Today? Tonight?
It waits. For me.
Sweet heart. Don’t stop.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
"Heartbeats" from Love's Instruments (Tia Chucha Press, 1995). Copyright © 1995 by Melvin Dixon.
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Now my hands buried
in my hair, resting on piano keys
in the back of my head.
This is the music I am playing
through my mind: a dark room singing
a song that will not have children.
*
Lying on the floor tonight, snowflakes
cut from paper laid over my eyes, a hand
carved from wood laid over my mouth.
If the truth is the thing you must not say,
I will speak for the vase now
as it falls: it is better never
to be at all.
*
A hand on the back of my head
made of glass, my love, my eyes,
filled with wire, life. Once
I watched a bird’s shadow cross a field
in the wind: a black hat that could not stop
tumbling. My eyes are sore
from seeing, my lips from speaking.
*
How a ribbon curls when pulled
across a scissor’s blade, I am practicing
transformation, pain. How the dark hair
of imagination, uncut, grows down
to the floor. What is left
but to make a world, a war?
*
Or a landscape in which to stay alive
(ghost flower/house of breath). Another wish: language
drilled through ice, through my life.
If grief is love with nowhere to go, this is
my mouth turning into snow.
This is somewhere.
Copyright © 2023 by Allison Benis White. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on March 20, 2023, by the Academy of American Poets.
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Dear lovely Death
That taketh all things under wing —
Never to kill —
Only to change
Into some other thing
This suffering flesh,
To make it either more or less,
But not again the same —
Dear lovely Death,
Change is thy other name.
The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes, (Poems 1921-1930, p. 127), Edited by Arnold Rampersad, and David Roessel, Vintage Books, New York, NY, 1994]
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When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.
When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.
When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.
Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance, fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance of
dark, cold
caves.
And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.
Published in the United States by Random House, an imprint and division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
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The yellow flowers on the grave
make an arch, they lie
on a black stone that lies on the ground
like a black door that will always
remain closed down into the earth,
into it is etched the name
of a great poet who believed
he had nothing more to say,
he threw himself into literal water
and everyone has done their mourning
and been mourned over, and we all
went on with our shopping,
I stare at this photograph of that grave
and think you died like him,
like all the others,
and the yellow flowers
seem angry, they seem to want to refuse
to be placed anywhere but in a vase
next to the living, someday
all of us will have our names
etched where we cannot read them,
she who sealed her envelopes
full of poems about doubt with flowers
called it her “granite lip,” I want mine
to say Lucky Life, and what would
a perfect elegy do? place the flowers
back in the ground? take me
where I can watch him sit eternally
dreaming over his typewriter?
then, at last, will I finally unlearn
everything? and I admit that yes,
while I could never leave
everyone, here at last
I understand these yellow flowers,
the names, the black door
he held open
and you walked through.
Copyright © 2023 by Matthew Zapruder. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on April 18, 2023, by the Academy of American Poets.
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Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
The Gypsy, December 1934
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Me, my dad, and my brother, we were looking through the old photos: pictures of my dad with a broken leg, and my mum with big flappy shorts, and me on a tricycle. When we got to one of my mum with a baby on her knee, and I go: "Is that me? Or Brian, my brother?" And my dad says: "Let's have a look." "Oh. Hmm... it isn't you or Brian." he says. "It's Alan. He died. He would have been two years younger than Brian, and two years older than you. Hmm. He was a lovely baby." "How did he die?" "Whooping cough." I was away at the time. He coughed himself to death in Connie's arms. The terrible thing is, it wouldn't happen today, but it was during the war, you see. And they didn't have the medicines. Hmm. That must be the only photo of him that we've got. Me and Brian looked at the photo. We couldn't say anything.
It was the first time we'd ever heard about Alan. For a moment I felt ashamed, like as if I'd done something wrong. I looked at the baby trying to work out who he looked like. I wanted to know what another brother would have been like. No way of saying, and mum looked so happy. Of course, she didn't know when they took the photo that he would die, did she? Funny thing is, though my father mentioned it every now and then over the years, mum - never. And he never said anything in front of her about it, and we never let on that we knew. What I've never figured out was whether her silence, was because she was more upset about it than my dad, or less.
From Quick Let’s Get Out of Here! (Deutsch, 1983/ Puffin, 1985), © Michael Rosen 1983.
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Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;
For tho' from out our bourne of Time and PlaceThe flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.
First published in 1889.
-
Even in the dream, it is long past the possible
when I uncover my breast and hold the baby
close enough to drink. How helpless he is
to resist, helpless as the mind in a deep dream
to stop and change direction. Though, on waking,
the mind remembers our grown daughters
and the room where we sleep, and beyond it,
the outside made white with smoke from a fire.
Remembers, yesterday’s eerie milk-gold light
we walked through, and stopped a moment
beside a baby fox. In the road, wasps lighted on his skull,
their black bodies beading his torn-apart torso,
while gnats and flies sipped at the glistening.
And the work of those winged things seemed a fire
chewing through manzanita and alder,
Douglas fir and cedar, the maggots and flies
and wasps carrying the forest out of the fox,
the way the fire carried the forest out of the world.
You asked then if a mother fox could feel sadness.
And because last night my mind had used a memory
of my body to deceive me, had pressed my son close,
believing if he drank, I could keep him,
I want to believe the dead fox was a twin,
a mirror image following yet behind the vixen,
the way a dream can shadow the mind,
and the mind helpless against our stillborn son
that lives inside my dreams and runs silent
as a wild fox behind our daughters. It was dusk
when we turned to go, so quickly the wasps and flies
rose together, as if the black-and-yellow robes
they carried through the milk-gold light had slipped
from the death they had just been covering. All of us helpless
against the beauty of the hurt world as it burns.
Copyright © 2022 by Julia B. Levine. This poem appeared in Southern Review, 2022. -
Life is short, though I keep this from my children.
Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine
in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,
a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways
I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least
fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative
estimate, though I keep this from my children.
For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.
For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,
sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real shithole, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.
This poem originally appeared in Waxwing, Issue 10, in June 2016
-
There will come a day when the fear of death
Will be the favourite joke passed amongst corpses
And they are already laughing
My love please don’t be afraid
But there will come a day when field mice play
In our empty sockets. When our bones
Become homes for living creatures
Other than our egos
And when time jostles our skeletons
Out of the composition that is me
And you
And will write with us love letters that spell…
I owe you Eternity
If we believe in life after death
Then I often wonder why
We assume the dead like coffins
When people were never meant to live in boxes
So I pray that our children have the good sense
To leave us a little wiggle room
Leave us exposed like stray dogs in a thunderstorm
And I will hear the breeze but not know it as the breeze
And I will feel the rain but not know it as the rain
And I will behold the sky but not know it as the sky
Instead I will hear the breeze and think it’s your love
Returned into the hearth of my ears
And I will feel the rain and think it is the pinprick of your kiss
And when the rain is tender I will know that something has softened you
And when the rain is violent I will know something has shaken you
And in this newfound understanding without eyes or ears…or hands…or lips
Our bare bones will make love in the dirt never knowing our nakedness
Imagine!
The wind coursing through a calligraphy of weeds.
In our disrepair we have grown garden of ourselves
Sprouts of curious grass shooting from my eye sockets
Our knuckles, hard, smooth skipping stones
Meant for child’s play
And the devilish sun picking its way through your missing teeth
And neither one of us can keep from smiling these days
And the days go unnoticed
And the nights go unslept
And we talk with our souls
Through the holes in our ribs
Where organs once sat
Imagine!
Your skull and mine reduced to grins
Both washed clean of our skins
And our sins
Growing young again
Forgetting why we ever wrinkled
Why we ever furrowed our brows
With the plow of anger become
Become dust with me
Insignificant in every way
I will love you
Even after your marrow has become a whisper
In your bones
Nothing but a snickering of gravel
Let us soak in these spaces
Our shadows left behind
Your skeleton laced with mine
And I will tie your soles to my ankles
And know what it’s like to step into a dream
And you will try on my backbone
And see how bad it hurt
The day you said you were calling it quits
I don’t remember why you left
Or why you came back
I don’t know how many years have passed
Not really sure years passed at all
All I know is the rain falls you kiss me
Like a rainfall
The sun it bleaches us clear and every day is a romance
All this to say
All this to say we are already laughing
There is a wedding of earthworms and pebbles waiting
When our tuxedo skeletons no longer fit
There is a place for our faces to lie
Planted beside forever smiling
There is the place where we can be still
And in love
There exists a place where we can
Still be in love
Just two gentle skulls.